Addressing The Motherhood Journey’s Mental Health Struggles

Illustration by Brand Communications Manager Holly Hansen

Parenthood, in all its forms, can be wonderful. It can also be difficult — some people have difficulty becoming parents, some people have strained relationships with their kids, some people lose their children. It’s an expansive and emotionally and situationally complex umbrella.

The same can be said for motherhood — those that are mothers, and those who are trying to be mothers. And add to the mix dealing with the potential mental health struggles that come with having children or trying to have children, and you’ve got additional weight. Around 10% of U.S. women struggle with infertility, according to the CDC, and within a study of women experiencing infertility, half of those polled said the experience was the most emotionally taxing of their lives. Meanwhile, about 15-to-21% of pregnant women experience anxiety or depression, while 21% of new mothers experience depression and 11% experience anxiety, says Postpartum Support International.

Factor in that many of these moms and people trying to be moms have also been figuring out how to work from home during a two-year pandemic, a time that’s already seen a general mental health crisis. As Maternal Mental Health Month and World Infertility Awareness Month are back-to-back — in May and June, respectively — Martin is shining a light on the often-not-talked-about mental health struggles that accompany the various stages along the journey of motherhood.

But it’s important to us that we’re not just talk, which is why Martin recently announced it’s offering fertility support, covering processes like IVF and artificial insemination, diagnostic tests and treatments for underlying conditions that may cause infertility, like endometriosis. It’s why the agency offers 12 weeks of paid family leave after an employee has a baby, and why it reimburses eligible adoption expenses up to $10,000 per adoption. It’s why Martin has a partnership with Milk Stork, which allows breastfeeding moms who are traveling to ship milk home via pre-labeled coolers, and why Martin has an Employee Assistance Plan connecting employees and anyone in their household with mental health counselors for eight free visits per issue.

A Weight Off The Shoulders

It was Martin Account Coordinator Alejandra Moran’s first day at the agency when she heard the news that IVF was going to be covered — an occurrence that she calls “kismet.”

Moran uses that word because she’s struggled with infertility for three years. She started IVF in October 2019, and she and her husband maxed out two credit cards, pulled all their money out of their HSA accounts and got help from family and friends to pay for the process. (IVF is expensive — it can cost anywhere from $12,000 to $17,000 without medication, and close to $25,000 with it). After Moran’s first transfer ended in a miscarriage, she had her daughter, Nora, in February 2021.

Dealing with the mental health toll of going through IVF, losing a child and having another one during the pandemic was all-consuming for Moran, especially since social-distancing meant she couldn’t see a therapist in-person or access her usual support group. And this toll was only exacerbated by worrying about balancing the costs of her treatments with the costs of raising a child, says Moran.

“A lot of joy gets taken away, and it’s replaced with anxiety,” she says of having a child after dealing with infertility. Moran and her husband wanted to give their daughter a sibling, but they knew they would have to wait several years to save up again before they could try another IVF round.

So when she heard that Martin’s medical insurance plan would now cover IVF, she felt some of the pressure immediately evaporate. “Having that covered almost made us feel like ‘Okay, now we can take our time getting there because we don't have to count pennies and budget for that and just be so hyper focused,’” she says. “It's more on our terms, and to be able to take back control during a process where you feel you have to relinquish all of it — that was a really powerful moment.”

Anne Bartholomew felt a similar sense of relief when she learned about the IVF coverage. Previously a freelancer, the Martin project manager joined the agency full time in March, just when the announcement came out.

Bartholomew has been struggling with infertility for years, and has been traveling to and working remotely from Alabama for weeks at a time to see a specialist for her treatments. She and her husband haven’t taken a vacation in years because all their extra finances go toward IVF, and the emotional rollercoaster is exhausting, says Bartholomew. “It definitely showed me that I'm a lot stronger than I ever thought I would be or could be,” she says. “But also stronger than I ever even wanted to know that I could be.”

The couple had made the decision that their most recent round of treatments would be their last — the financial burden was getting too high. That is, until they learned Martin would cover treatments. ”It was like a miracle to us,” says Bartholomew. “It's just amazing how much it lifted off of both of us mentally, because we potentially have another chance now.”

Both women say that knowing their IVF treatments are covered is a life-changing way to provide relief during an unimaginably difficult process, and they urge more companies to consider the coverage (at one point, both women thought about applying to work at Starbucks, as the group covers fertility treatments).

“You will open your doors to so many more opportunities and good hires,” says Bartholomew. “It just shows the elevation and quality of a company.”

Moran agrees: “It might seem like a small thing to offer IVF, but it actually makes someone feel so much more safe.”

Motherhood?

While dealing with infertility is a huge mental health burden, there are anxieties that accompany all stages of the motherhood journey — especially new motherhood.

Martin partners and creative directors Kate Placentra and Kim Nguyen each had their daughters within a few weeks of each other during the pandemic, and they both struggled with anxiety during and post-pregnancy.

Placentra found that becoming a mom during a pandemic exacerbated the mental health struggles she already had. “I think I always had some anxiety and depression that I channeled into being intense at work,” she says. “But then introducing pregnancy and a child to it — it's so much less that you can control.”

Nguyen, who found out she was pregnant the day the U.S. declared Covid a national emergency, agrees. “Any sort of pre-pregnancy control that you had over your anxiety just kind of goes away,” she says. “You are so emotional, you cannot control how you feel internally. And so then anything might just start an anxiety spiral.”

Both Placentra and Nguyen say that the pandemic’s heightened isolation and uncertainty about the virus’ effects only increased those feelings of anxiety and depression. And then, after they had their daughters, they had to add trying to keep a newborn healthy — and working from home with said newborn — into the mix.

Their struggles are indicative of a larger trend: Half of mothers polled during Covid with children home for remote learning say their mental health decreased (that’s compared to the 31% of overall adults who said the same). And this is reflected in the amount of women leaving jobs during Covid — only 57% of U.S. women remained in the workforce as of January 2022, the lowest amount since 1988.

One way that the two women dealt with these feelings of anxiety was through their creative project, Motherhood?. It’s a tongue-in-cheek collection of art and poetry dedicated to the hazy days of being a new mom and the mental impact they can have — think a sign that reads “___ DAYS SINCE THE LAST BABY POOP IN THE BATHTUB” or a “Chew On This” button-down shirt with teething toys attached to it. Sales of the book containing the poems and images of the artwork benefitted the nonprofit Postpartum Support International.

Both Placentra and Nguyen urge that society lets go of the “Super Mom'' image that falsely claims that mothers should be able to handle everything with ease, and they stress that new moms should advocate for themselves as soon as they begin to feel overwhelmed.

“It doesn't always look like some sort of scary mom who's a danger to her child. It doesn't look like just weeping. Sometimes it's not fully debilitating, and that almost makes you not claim it for yourself,” says Placentra. “But if it's hard, and it seems like it's harder than it should be, there's help, and you should try to get help.”